One Text Changed the Game

I’d never really noticed this girl at work until she came up to me one day and asked to borrow my stapler. One look into her sweet blue eyes trapped me. I’m sure I wasn’t the first. Every day after, she’d waltz into work singing a song, for which I’d name the song and artist. She was always amazed at how I’d pick it. It was our thing. It was cute and a great way to start my day.

I’d let slip that I’d been on a music trivia TV show and she wanted to see it. She borrowed the DVD and texted me that night.

“So excited to be watching you on TV,” she wrote.

Good sign, I thought.

The next day, she came in and said, “We should hang out.”

We exchanged mobile numbers and added each other on Facebook. Over the next couple of weeks, we’d text and email, swap favourite songs, YouTube clips and Sunday morning albums.

On a breezy Saturday night, I’d decided to go to a party at the last minute. To my surprise, she was there and looking dynamite. Her hair had been freshly cut, make-up was glam and her blue eyes were only accentuated by the blue cheongsam and fishnets, which just totally knocked me sideways. I kinda fell in love, right then and there.

After some birthday cocktails, she’d dragged me outside for a cigarette and we’re talking about music and movies, lots of banter – back and forth. I’m thinking, wow!

As the party finishes and we hail a cab home, we get a rush of the hunger pangs. It’s about 3am and I’ve diverted the taxi driver to Taylor Square, where we go for a pie. The flotsam and jetsam of the night is all around us. We enjoy the pies and chat – I’m savouring the moment. We grab another taxi and as we approach her place, she gives me a little kiss and smiles. What an evening. I’m smitten.

Over the course of the following week, we’re texting and talking about music and the upcoming, Sydney Film Festival. We decided to book two international films and were super excited to go.

But, here’s where I fucked it, or perhaps didn’t – who knows?

I sent her a text inviting her over for dinner. I suggested that I cook her a meal, listen to some of her favourite songs on my vintage jukebox and watch a movie on the couch. Yeah, always good in theory, right?

My heart sank when this zinger came back:

Thank you for thinking of me. I need to be honest and let you know that I see us as friends. It’s a lovely offer and I seriously appreciate it but I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. I think you’re fantastic, I love that we share a common interest in music but I get the sense you were hoping for more. I wanted to talk to you over coffee about this but things are a bit full on in my life at the moment. I don’t want you to feel like I’m absent or ignoring you. I genuinely appreciate your friendship and I hope we can hang out on that level.

I was deflated.

So, the first movie came up and she was running late. She’d decided to grab some Subway to eat during the movie (there goes dinner). She really enjoyed the movie and asked me to have a drink with her. We walk for ten minutes to her favourite bar. It was literally one more block and she turns to me and says, “Would you mind if we give it a miss and go home?”

I hadn’t brought up the text. But, I thought I’d be a gentleman and just let her be.

I walked to the station alone.

We never made it to the second movie. I’d been dropped like a hot potato: no texts, emails and later, unfriended from Facebook.

I guess the work thing complicated matters. Do women distrust men if they’re in the friend zone by thinking that maybe one day we might still make a move? It’s anyone’s guess.

It’s sad that I tried to be me and it wasn’t enough for even a friendship. I’d be grateful for a female friend who likes similar stuff and wants to hang out.

I just wonder, had I not sent that text, would we still be friends?

Once that genie’s out of the bottle, it can’t go back in. That’s the risk you take.

One thought on “One Text Changed the Game

  1. Oh, men! It’s even sweet to see how wrong they get it sometimes. You were giving her no signs, whatsoever, that you wanted something more with her. Zero, 000 signs. Of course she wasn’t going to see you as something more. I would have felt even a bit mad at you. I’d have been thinking, “Gosh, this guy is really not attracted to me, hey?” Make an effort, man. Effort does NOT equal friends on Facebook. Please. Romance, surprise and seduction equals effort. Then, she may have started to see you as a possible lover, even if you weren’t her type.

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