Emma Highwood is a health and wellbeing consultant from Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs
About two years ago, I was a girl looking for love in all the wrong places: lost, sad and heartbroken. I’d relinquished my self-esteem. I felt rejected and undervalued. My subsequent behaviour was the manifestation of both my pain and loss of dignity. I was drinking too much. I ate to be skinny (but was only getting fatter). I was sleep-deprived and partying all around the world. I was completely adrift and insecure. My hormones were out of balance. I was a healthy mess.
I came out of a four-year turbulent and nasty relationship that destroyed the essence of who I was. My relationship had defined me. I know so many of you have been through the same kind of journey. A break-up can really break you. But, I let it.
You don’t have to let it.
Sean was my catalyst. He picked me back up. We’ve been together for two years and he’s changed my world. He opened my heart. I believe he taught me how to find true love. He’s my mentor and best friend. I believe he brings out the very best in me. My emotional and physical health, I dedicate to him.
I’m worth more. My life’s in my hands. I’m accountable. I don’t look to blame everyone else for my shortcomings. Sean taught me that my life was ready to bloom; that I could have a spectacular life if I believed that I deserved one. He, to this day, tells me I’m good enough – just as I am. My previous partner made me feel the opposite.
I have so much to offer the world now. My journey of self-love and healing began with Sean. From the bottom of my heart, I thank him every day.
There is a lesson to be shared.
In retrospect, my past relationship clearly had an impact on my health – without me even knowing it. Disappointment and betrayal manifest into bodily stress and trauma. Our bodies listen closely to all we do and feel: all we experience. I felt I needed my previous partner (a result of him making me feel so insecure). I allowed the relationship to define who I was. Love like that is not healthy. Consequently, my health declined. Every medical test reflected this: I developed cysts on my ovaries, my cortisol (stress hormone) was sky high, my weight was creeping up (from all of the stress, alcohol and late night comfort food), my skin was breaking-out into shingles (a true sign of anxiety) and I had unstoppable reflux.
I truly believe a healthy relationship will enhance the healthiest version of you.
My relationship now is based on mutual respect, not neediness. We’re there for one another, unconditionally. We don’t need to hear from each other or see each other 24/7. We absolutely love it when we are together but we allow that process to happen naturally. We don’t play games and challenge each other to get some kind of reaction that I know so many of us feel we need. Love is not a test.
He picks me up when I feel down and I do the same for him. We feel no need to explain to anyone, what we have or how we feel. We aren’t interested in creating an image. Trust is an unspoken topic because there are no doubts, ever. It’s a stress-free relationship.
Is he the one? I hope so. But, you never know. Relationships are a very important part of the health equation and I want to encourage you to think about whether your relationship is benefiting your health. I hope it is. But, you are the master of your choices.
I look back on my past with love and compassion. I was just trying to find my way. We all want to be loved.
Sometimes, all you need is a reminder that you’re worth it.
You are worth it!