Would It Kill You to Leave a Hint of Pubis?

What’s with women and their pubis paranoia?

Whether you believe in an all mighty creator or evolution, surely there’s some logic or science behind why us human beings grow hair on our private parts during puberty.

Your local GP will tell you that pubic hair does have a purpose. It provides a cushion against friction that can cause superficial damage and injury to the skin; protection from bacteria and other nasty pathogens; and is the result of adolescent hormones giving you a visual signal that you’re coming of age.

There’s the social argument to its removal: that it’s what “everybody” does these days. Generation Y (people born roughly between 1980 and 1995), in particular, are obsessed with being hair free. If Chloe, Samantha, Tamara and Jess get a brazilian, I guess it’s compulsory for Rachael.

I can understand managing the bikini line, and other relatively normal acts of modern hygiene. But what’s wrong with trimming? Why does it all have to come off? Doesn’t waxing hurt? Why are laser hair removal appointments on the up?

Rhetorical questions, really.

There is enough evidence to suggest that pubic hair decreases the chance of skin infections. STIs are more common than ever and damage to irritated hair follicles leaves tiny open wounds. This is how many undesirables are caught during sex.

As a man, I am all in favour of a well-maintained lady garden. Not a ’70s porno bush, mind you, but any conventional shape or strip will do me fine. It’s sexy and it’s womanly.

And, you know for sure that you’re going down on an adult.

I have openly discussed shaving, waxing and laser hair removal with women over the past 12 months. I had one partner who refused to grow any and I was made to feel ungrateful.

“Men love it. What’s wrong with you?”

What’s wrong with me? I’m not the one allowing someone to pour hot sticky wax on my labia – spreading it like honey on toast with a spatula – then having it ripped off in 30 seconds, faster than you can scream: “Fuck that hurt!”

I was told that shaving causes ingrown hairs and red razor rash. Fine, don’t shave.

Do women do it solely for their man (or partner)?

How many men would knock back sex because a woman didn’t have a brazilian? Furthermore, how many would leave a happy relationship over a map of Tassie?

I wonder how many women actually stare at their vagina and think how pretty it looks uncovered. Does it get cold in winter? Merkin sales must spike during a particularly rainy week.

All jokes aside, it’s really unnecessary. It’s nothing more than cosmetic.

What’s really disturbing is now men are doing it. “Manscape” all you like, lads, but what’s attractive about looking (and feeling) like a 10-year-old boy again? Maybe I shouldn’t ask that question.

Call me old-fashioned but I’m throwing my support behind any contemporary woman, who believes that pubic hair is an attractively discernible feature.

Bring back the bush.

One thought on “Would It Kill You to Leave a Hint of Pubis?

  1. Shaving our legs and shaping our eyebrows is also cosmetic, as is putting cancer-causing chemicals on our faces in order to look presentable. Should we stop that as well? Can’t speak for all women here but I for one will do certain cosmetic things to feel good about myself not to appease others. If it feels right for a woman to shave bare down there, then so be it.

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